Joke of the day. Part 3

[Death's Shadow]

wow that sux, Does your company not have the right to refuse service to anyone? Thought that was a universal thing. Sorry too hear about that Lam.

[Major_A]

wow

I thought that was kinda universal also...the "We reserve the right to blah blah blah..."

bet that hospital would have a cow if your company decided to drop by and start looking @ serial numbers.

On top of that, why isn't your place notified the day someone expires?

Another question. If the patient dies while in the hospital with your equipment and they remove it, that should make them responsible. Isn't that theft of your equipment?

[Death's Shadow]

With out documentation the nursing home would get away with ripping it off. There would be no proof that the family did not take it with the rest of the belongings. At least that would be the nursing homes story.

[Major_A]

someone sent me this joke today and it gave me an idea. Other than the fact it really needs posted in these forums, I just built a new joke of the day page for my site.
It only has a direct link right now, maybe even leave it that way, don't know. If you ever want to visit, it is here.

homeandhobbyhelpfulls.synthasite.com/joke-of-the-day.php

The Poker Player

Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bob's wife, Sue wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.
Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bob's wife followed and asked, 'Did you see anything that you liked under there?' Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, well indeed he did. She said, 'Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500.'

After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Jim confirms his interest.

Sue told him t hat since her husband Bob worked Friday afternoons and Jim didn't, Jim should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Bob's house at 2 p.m. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 - they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed.

Jim quickly dressed and left.

As usual, Bob came home from work at 6 p.m. and upon arriving, asked his wife: 'Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?'

With a lump in her throat Sue answered, 'Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.'




Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, 'And did he give you $500?'

Sue, using her best poker face, replied, 'Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500.'

Bob, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, 'He came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised he 'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back.'

Now THAT, is a poker player!

[Death's Shadow]

LMAO.. Good one.

[Urumii-Previously ThePresident]

That is awesome!!!!!!! ahaha

[popeye]

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some a-hole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical SOBs....

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

***How about recruiting Women over 50 ...with PMS !!! You think Men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!

If nothing else, put us on border patrol.....we will have it secured the first night!
---------------------------




Robin Richardson

[Major_A]

LOL

[a Silly Person]

Those are great!

[Death's Shadow]

LOL don't forget to send the teen age Girls with PMS.. they are true beasts that grow horns.

[Major_A]

[Death's Shadow]

lol

[a Silly Person]

Finally! Some straight answers on something we didn't understand:

For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads.

Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or
religion, but the Indian Embassy in Washington DC has recently revealed
the true story.

When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union.

On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he
has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop, a taxi cab or a
motel in the United States.

If nothing is there, he must remain in India to answer telephones and
provide technical support for Dell.

[Death's Shadow]

LMAO Silly

[Lamron]

Scratch and Sniff? LOL