Silly answers to the QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME!
This is sad...I work second shift for awhile now and I'm reduced to actually answering joke questions....WOOHOOO 2 days off after 21 days straight of working.....I'm going nuckin futz!!!!!--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Can you cry under water?
YES, Followed by drowning ;D--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
I think it depends on if you ask a politician, or the average guy.
OR....if the government keeps going politically correct, these will show up somewhere
Coroner questionnaire form question in multiple choice...Answer depends on nation location!!! - A) uuum yes it was in a movie theater/parade.
- B) hu hu hu dat thir was done by a mountain lion, twas nobodys fault....unless it wuz jeffroz' mountain lion that whutches tha still'....that boy had alot of guts too...just never knew how much til' uh saw'm thare on tha ground....
- C) DAT
it wuz dun by that.ing ganker, dat mofo gettin' tha mutha 'n 9...den me and tha homies hetin' back to tha crib for some mutha'n action wit' tha 'n ho's yo!....damn man...even shot im in his pinkie toe...."Harlem Nights"....LOL
- D) and/or random fubar situation.
- E) No witnesses, just deader than hell when found.
- F) N/A Superfly bonghit....Bongzia dickweed! www.joecartoon.com/cartoons/955-bongzai
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Since your back from your trip.....lolWhy do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
The extra cent gets the hell taxed out of it.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Probly so....but they'll never get wrinkly looking I'd say.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
It sits in the seat better without sliding around when they deliver it....lol--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What disease did cured ham actually have?
Salt Deficiency. ;D--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
That's where they got the idea in the first place. I mean, who would want to lug all that crap by hand up 30 stories to the nosecone of a rocket, I'd put it on wheels too....LOL--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
This sounds like the spousal abuse my wife causes me. I just blow it off, goof around on the computer and get drunk anyway....then peacefully sleep in the fetal position protecting my frontside! *Note to self --> Hide wife's razor, and wear cup tonight! ;D--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Doesn't matter...Justice is usually blind anyway.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Because the projectors are at the TV station.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Because all the binoculars are used to look for that once in a lifetime hot chicks bedroom view.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
They are getting the colder stethoscope out of the freezer. The first one gets warmed up being used to give them the excuse TO take your close off.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
I guess braties never caught on--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
That's why people give new toasters to people at Christmas.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Because know one has figured out how to grow crack, like corn...My California poppies bloomed good this year though!--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
They better be able to!!! I mean, with all that DEAD weight and stuff...HA HA HA ....hello...is this thing on?! 
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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Couldn't get the right people on the radio for the permit. 
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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
VIAGRA!--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
lol..."and that's all,.... okay, whats your address?....how many miles in?!.....I'm sry, we can't accept peyote flowers in bloom as an address...." click--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Placenta's!!!!--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Electricity comes from the light socket...duhhhh lol--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
What does it matter, you've obviously had a huge bong hit thinking up this question....lol--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
You drank the bong water didn't you???--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
It depends...is your belt size equator?--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
I guess you can't blow him hard enough....lol--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway
Parkways are reserved for huge smoggy cities...there should be a law against a city being to large. If you are driving on a parkway you must have too much money in that part of the city. You ruined all that nice area with assphault, and I could have put in a nice golf coarse! ;D
Do we need a poll?.....Someone post a poll...I mean for some joke questions...didn't I do ok for answering them?.....LOLOL now you can post the responses...lol
Someone please fix some of the answers because I know you have better fixens than me....c'mon.....just...lol Fix the joke baby!
