Joke of the day. Part 2

[Urumii-Previously ThePresident]

LOL.. that is one HUGE dog!!

[BAT*21{usa}]

LOL ,,ya it is ..a friend forwarded that 2 me

[Lost_Child]

Frank was excited about his new rifle and decided to try bear hunting. He traveled up to Alaska , spotted a small brown bear and shot it.


Soon after there was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said, 'That was a very bad mistake. That was my cousin. I'm going to give you two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have sex.'


After considering briefly, Frank decided to accept the latter alternative. So the black bear had his way with Frank.


Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip to Alaska where he found the black bear and shot it dead. Right after, there was another tap on his shoulder.


This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly said, 'That was a big mistake, Frank. That was my cousin and you've got two choices: Either I maul you to death or we have 'rough sex.'


Again, Frank thought it was better to cooperate with the grizzly bear than be mauled to death. So the grizzly had his way with Frank.


Although he survived, it took several months before Frank fully recovered.
Now Frank was completely outraged, so he headed back to Alaska and managed to track down the grizzly bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then, moments later, there was a tap on is shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there.


The polar bear looked at him and said, 'Admit it Frank, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?'

[YOUR_DADDY]

LMAO

[YOUR_DADDY]

The Indian With One Testicle

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle
and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that
name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally
cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone
again I will kill them!'

The word got around and nobody called
him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird
forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.' He
jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into
the forest where he made love to her all day and
all night. He made love to her all the next day,
until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what
he promised he would do. Years went by and no
one dared call him by his given name until A woman
named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being
away. Yellow Bird , who was Blue Bird's cousin, was
overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him
and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest,

then he made love to her all day, made love to her all
night, made love to her all the next day, made love to
her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!



Why



OH, come on... take a guess !!!



Think about it !!!



You're going to love this !!!



Everyone knows...
You can't kill Two Birds
with OneStone !!!

[Death's Shadow]

got this in my email. almost put it in the Current events section. It is so close to the truth it is almost not funny.

enjoy.

2008 Democrat National Convention

Schedule of Events

7:00 pm OPENING FLAG BURNING

7:15 pm PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE TO THE U.N.

7:20 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

7:25 pm NONRELIGIOUS PRAYER AND WORSHIP - Jesse Jackson & Al Sharpton

7:45 pm CEREMONIAL TREE HUGGING - Darryl Hannah

7:55 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

8:00 pm HOW I INVENTED THE INTERNET - Al Gore

8:15 pm GAY WEDDING PLANNING - Rosie O'Donnell

8:35 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

8:40 pm OUR TROOPS ARE WAR CRIMINALS - John Kerry

9.00 pm MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR SADDAM AND HIS SONS - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon

10:00 pm ANSWERING MACHINE ETIQUETTE - Alec Baldwin

11:00 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

11:05 pm COLLECTION FOR THE OSAMA BIN LADEN KIDNEY TRANSPLANT FUND - Barbara Streisand

11:15 pm FREE THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS FROM GUANTANAMO BAY - Sean Penn

11:30 pm OVAL OFFICE AFFAIRS - William Jefferson Clinton

11:45 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

11:50 pm HOW GEORGE BUSH BROUGHT DOWN THE WORLD TRADE TOWERS - Howard Dean

12:15 am TRUTH IN BROADCASTING AWARD - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore

12:25 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

12:30 am SATELLITE ADDRESS - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

12:45 am NOMINATION OF BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA - Nancy Pelosi

"a leader that God has blessed us with at this time”

1:00 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

1:05 am CORONATION OF BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA

1:30 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hilary home.

[RedRock]

LOL, DS, I like the last line about the drive home!

[a Silly Person]

Hey DS, this is a place for jokes and Silly stories, not current events!



I think Teddy should drive them all home.

[Lamron]

[Major_A]

Pointless time waster funnys. Be sure to check out superfly.
www.joecartoon.com/cartoons/195-froggy_funwheel

[Death's Shadow]

ok I just wasted an hour of my life on that site.. LMAO ... thanks

[a Silly Person]

LOL.
Do the "Wuss in a blender"

[Death's Shadow]

LOL I did

[Sgt_Blueberry]

FEMALE COMPASSION (LET IT NEVER BE UNDERESTIMATED)


A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms
and no legs.

Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.


The first woman said 'Have you ever had a hug?'

The man said 'No,' so, she gave him a hug and walked on.


The second woman said 'Have you ever had a kiss?'

The man said 'No,' so she gave him a kiss and walked on.


The third really beautiful woman came up to him and said

'Have you ever been f*cked?'


The fellow said, 'No.'

She said 'You will be when the tide comes in.'

[RedRock]

Blue! You are soooooo bad!
LOL!