Pulled Over

[BAT*21{usa}]

A LESSON 2 B LEARNED FROM TYPING THE WRONG E-MAIL ADDRESS


a Minneapolis couple decided 2 go 2 Florida 2 thaw out during a particularly icy winter. they planned 2 stay in the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 yrs. b 4.


because of hectic schedules,it was difficult 2 coordinate their travel schedules.


so the husband checked into the hotel,and unlike years ago ,there was a computer in his room, so he decided 2 send an e-mail 2 his wife.


however , he accidentally left out 1 letter in her e-mail address,& without noticing his error sent the e-mail.


meanwhile...somewhere in Houston a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral.


he was a minister who was called home 2 glory after suffering a heart attack.


the widow decided 2 check her e-mail,expecting messages from friends & relatives .


after reading the first message,she screamed & fainted.


the widow,s son rushed into the room,found his mother on the floor,& glanced up & saw the computer screen which read:


To: my loving wife
Date:Thursday,October13,2004
Subject:i have arrived


dearest love:

i know you are surprised 2 hear from me.they have computers here now,& you are allowed 2 send e-mail 2 your loved ones. i have just arrived & have been checked in . i see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow, & look forward 2 seeing u then. hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was




PS....it sure is freaking hot down here

[popeye]

two cowboys talking].."did you here bart-mandsun got killed yesterday,in a shoot-out?"....."well,thats amazing,he was the fastest gun in the west!!" yeh,but he was in the east at the time".... : )

[A_ROOKIE]

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night

and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a

big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that
after dinner, she would like to go out and make love

for the first time.



Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex
before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get

some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and

the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.

He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and

sex.



At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many

condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family

pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he

thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.



That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents
house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm

so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"



The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table

where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly

offers to say grace and bows his head.



A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,

with his head down.



10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.


Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the

girlfriend leans over and whispers to the

boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."



The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your
father was a pharmacist."

[BAT*21{usa}]

a teenager asks his father 1 day about sex .so when the father gets to the part about protection he tells his son that condoms come in 12 & 7 paks. the son asks why do they come that way ,the father says i was coming to that the 7 paks r 4 unmarried people ,there', Saturday,Sunday, Monday ,Tuesday ,Wednesday,Thursday ,Friday the 12 paks r 4 married people . there's January ,Febuary,March.............

[Marco]

Incredible story about an elephant's memory...

UPI July 3, 2006

A young man was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college. While

he was walking through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant

standing with one leg raised in the air.



The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot. There was a

large thorn deeply embedded in the bottom of the foot. As carefully and

as gently as he could he worked the thorn out with his hunting knife,

after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.



The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its

face, stared at him. For a good ten minutes the man stood frozen --

thinking of nothing else but being trampled.



Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.



The man never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.



Twenty years later the man was walking through the zoo with his teenaged

son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures

turned and walked over to where they were standing at the rail. The

large bull elephant stared at him and lifted it's front foot off the

ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times, all the

while staring at the man. The man couldn't help wondering if this was

the same elephant.



After a while it trumpeted loudly; then it continued to stare at him.



The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his

way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared

back in wonder.



Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of

the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing,

killing him.



Probably wasn't the same elephant.

[AIGAD]

aigad said:

what the heck? lol

what the heck? lol

[RedRock]

A sailor in a foreign port for a day meets a willing female who indicates that he should obtain some protection before matters can proceed further. So the sailor finds the local equivalent of the corner drugstore and tries to find some condoms on the shelves, but he can't, so he tries to enlist the aid of the man behind the counter, but due to the language difference, he is having difficulty expressing his needs. So he pushes up against the counter, unzips his pants, lays out his member on the countertop, points up and down it, and lays downs some cash next to it. The clerk suddenly brightens up, says "Ah!", unzips his pants, lays his member out too, points up and down both members, and takes the sailor's money, as the clerk has clearly won the contest.