Herr_Monk
New Member
"all hells accomin"
Posts: 159
|
Post by Herr_Monk on Oct 10, 2007 8:08:02 GMT -5
|
|
a Silly Person
New Member
Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
Posts: 1,370
|
Post by a Silly Person on Oct 10, 2007 15:26:57 GMT -5
Can I see that again?
LMAO
|
|
Lamron
Benevolent Dictator
Posts: 5,225
|
Post by Lamron on Oct 10, 2007 18:57:13 GMT -5
I wasn't paying attention, can you just show us that one more time, please? LOL
|
|
a Silly Person
New Member
Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
Posts: 1,370
|
Post by a Silly Person on Oct 10, 2007 23:18:58 GMT -5
It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild?
Since he was a Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared. But being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to a phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked,
"Is the coming winter going to be cold?"
"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.
So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.
A week later he called the National Weather Service again. "Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?"
"Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."
The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.
Two weeks later the Chief called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"
"Absolutely, " the man replied. "It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever."
"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.
The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy."
|
|
Death's Shadow
LPmember
I have become Death. The destroyer of worlds.
Posts: 3,184 
|
Post by Death's Shadow on Oct 11, 2007 6:53:01 GMT -5
LMAO... Silly.. I knew the white man was looking down on me with is birds in the sky.
|
|
|
|
Post by Gen.Savahoe on Oct 11, 2007 15:02:53 GMT -5
 I was bitten by a spider last weekend...treated as a Brown Recluse bite.....till the offending spider was found....here it is: 
|
|
Death's Shadow
LPmember
I have become Death. The destroyer of worlds.
Posts: 3,184
|
Post by Death's Shadow on Oct 11, 2007 15:38:50 GMT -5
lmao a rabid spider
|
|
a Silly Person
New Member
Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
Posts: 1,370
|
Post by a Silly Person on Oct 11, 2007 22:10:50 GMT -5
Sit.
Stayyyyyy.
Roll over.
Spin a web.
Good Boyyy!
Where do you find these pics Sava? lol
|
|
Marauder(CDN)
New Member
One who plunders; especially, a pirate; a corsair; a marauder; a sharper
Posts: 1,047
|
Post by Marauder(CDN) on Oct 12, 2007 14:27:50 GMT -5
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help
me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get
started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over
the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to
her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to
assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a
nice cup of tea, and then .." he said with a deep sigh, . .. . . . ... .
"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
|
|
Marauder(CDN)
New Member
One who plunders; especially, a pirate; a corsair; a marauder; a sharper
Posts: 1,047
|
Post by Marauder(CDN) on Oct 12, 2007 14:29:53 GMT -5
10 Year Old Blues ...
A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds
and the bees.
"I don't want to know," the child said, bursting into tears.
"Promise me you won't tell me."
Confused, the father asked what was wrong.
The boy sobbed, "When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter
Bunny' speech.
At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech.
When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa'
speech.
"If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get
laid, I'll have nothing left to live for."
|
|
Death's Shadow
LPmember
I have become Death. The destroyer of worlds.
Posts: 3,184
|
Post by Death's Shadow on Oct 12, 2007 14:32:07 GMT -5
LMAO Mar.. better not tell him about married life then...  |
|
Marauder(CDN)
New Member
One who plunders; especially, a pirate; a corsair; a marauder; a sharper
Posts: 1,047
|
Post by Marauder(CDN) on Oct 12, 2007 14:34:20 GMT -5
I just sent you the married one DS...didn't think I should post that 1
|
|
Death's Shadow
LPmember
I have become Death. The destroyer of worlds.
Posts: 3,184
|
Post by Death's Shadow on Oct 12, 2007 15:37:03 GMT -5
LOL and so true it was...
|
|
a Silly Person
New Member
Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
Posts: 1,370
|
Post by a Silly Person on Oct 13, 2007 1:09:00 GMT -5
Three friends from the local congregation were asked, "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"
Artie said: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."
Eugene commented: "I would like them to say I was a
wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."
Al said: "I'd like them to say, "Look, he's moving!"
-----------------------------------------
A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"
The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours.
You want my advice?"
The man said yes and the Rabbi replied,
"Take the poison."
-----------------------------------------
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation,
"I now pronounce you man and wife."
-----------------------------------------
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman:
Before marriage, and after marriage.
DOH!!!!
|
|
A_ROOKIE
New Member
When the pain of where you are becomes greater then the fear of where your going, you'll move.
Posts: 716
|
Post by A_ROOKIE on Oct 14, 2007 9:35:51 GMT -5
He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants, don't you?
He said ....... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said .... That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
He said .... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said ......Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said .... How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said ... We don't know; it has never happened.
She said ... What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
He said .... A widow.
He said .... Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said ... Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
|
|
