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Post by I...Died...Again!!! on Apr 10, 2008 15:03:15 GMT -5
Nag, nag, nag
An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.
As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, 'What time of night is this to be getting home? Where have you been?' 'Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'. And on and on and on. Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he went and poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs. While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight. Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news. As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet. 'They're not hanging Wright tonight,' she said. To which he whirled around and screamed, "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?"
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Post by YOUR_DADDY on Apr 10, 2008 16:06:09 GMT -5
OMG that was funny
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Post by YOUR_DADDY on Apr 10, 2008 16:08:21 GMT -5
A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, sort of bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man "Holy Crap! That must be my husband!" So the guy quickly jumped out of the bed, scared and naked he jumped out the window like a crazy man. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush, then started to run as fast as he could to his car. A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman "I AM your husband, you twit!" The woman yelled back, "Yeah??? Then why were you running....you Son of a B@@@h !!!"
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Post by vinsanity on Apr 10, 2008 16:12:59 GMT -5
LOL!
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a Silly Person
New Member
Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
Posts: 1,370
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Post by a Silly Person on Apr 11, 2008 0:34:36 GMT -5
LMAO
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Killer_Monkey
New Member
Even a creepy little undead Monkey can kill!!
Posts: 199
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Post by Killer_Monkey on Apr 11, 2008 7:15:15 GMT -5
LMAO for both
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Post by YOUR_DADDY on Apr 12, 2008 19:15:12 GMT -5
To Be 6 Again... A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday. 'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror. On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being six again??' Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. 'I meant my dress size, you dumb ass!' The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he's gonna get it wrong.
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Post by Urumii-Previously ThePresident on Apr 12, 2008 21:36:13 GMT -5
Thats a good husband though, you can't be mad at him for doing that.
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Post by vinsanity on Apr 13, 2008 1:14:33 GMT -5
true that... and the beatch could have said something at any point that day LOL!
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Killer_Monkey
New Member
Even a creepy little undead Monkey can kill!!
Posts: 199
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Post by Killer_Monkey on Apr 13, 2008 9:36:17 GMT -5
ROFL! wow at least he tried.....but the woman could have said SOMETHING
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Post by vinsanity on Apr 14, 2008 10:43:32 GMT -5
tinyurl.com/5g87vtThis video cracked me up! The subject matter is not funny, as young girls should not be meeting guys they come across on Mysapce (or anywhere else on the net). But the brother's commentary to his sister getting chewed out by mom is priceless!
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Post by Urumii-Previously ThePresident on Apr 14, 2008 11:33:02 GMT -5
I love how the moms laughing as shes saying this isn't a joke. IN THE BUTT!!!!
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Post by vinsanity on Apr 14, 2008 12:56:30 GMT -5
IN THE BUTT!
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Post by YOUR_DADDY on Apr 14, 2008 17:14:51 GMT -5
NOOOOOOOOO not the BUTT,,,exit only LOL
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Post by YOUR_DADDY on Apr 14, 2008 17:16:30 GMT -5
This coming week is National Mental Health Care week.
You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care. Well.... my job is done. Your turn!
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