Killer_Monkey
New Member
Even a creepy little undead Monkey can kill!!
Posts: 199
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Post by Killer_Monkey on May 22, 2008 18:26:01 GMT -5
LOL!!!!!!! those are both hilarious!
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a Silly Person
New Member
Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
Posts: 1,370
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Post by a Silly Person on May 23, 2008 0:45:03 GMT -5
TICK WARNING!
I hate it when people forward bogus warnings, and I have even done it
myself a couple times unintentionally... but this one is real, and it's
important. So please send this warning to everyone on your e- mail list.
If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks
due to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around
with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!! THIS IS A SCAM!! They only want to see you naked.
I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid.
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a Silly Person
New Member
Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
Posts: 1,370
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Post by a Silly Person on May 23, 2008 23:57:53 GMT -5
A professor at the University of Arkansas was giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, 'How many people here believe in Ghosts?'
About 90 students raised their hands. 'Well, that's a good start."
Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?' About 40 students raised their hands.
'That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?' About 15 students raised their hand.
'Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?' 3 students raised their hands.
'That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?'
Way in the back, Bubba raises his hand. The professor takes off his glasses, and says, 'Son, in all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience.'
The big redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, 'So, Bubba, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?'
Bubba replied, 'Sheeeit! From way back thar I thought you said 'Goats.'
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Death's Shadow
LPmember
I have become Death. The destroyer of worlds.
Posts: 3,184 
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Post by Death's Shadow on May 24, 2008 0:14:03 GMT -5
lol... You are a sick man Silly.  |
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Post by Gen.Savahoe on May 24, 2008 13:45:36 GMT -5
;D  ;D ;D  Ilove it!!!! That was funny!!!!! |
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Post by YOUR_DADDY on May 25, 2008 8:11:45 GMT -5
I've sure gotten old!
I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.
I'm half blind,
can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
take 40 different medications that
make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation;
hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends.
But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.
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Death's Shadow
LPmember
I have become Death. The destroyer of worlds.
Posts: 3,184
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Post by Death's Shadow on May 25, 2008 10:03:35 GMT -5
LMAO sad but true
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a Silly Person
New Member
Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
Posts: 1,370
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Post by a Silly Person on May 25, 2008 14:45:32 GMT -5
LOL. Yes, thank god for that.
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A_ROOKIE
New Member
When the pain of where you are becomes greater then the fear of where your going, you'll move.
Posts: 716
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Post by A_ROOKIE on May 26, 2008 20:53:31 GMT -5
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up
Jack's Minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got
caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and
asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house
all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the
neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn and if
the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and
the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.
They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an
attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally
determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had
met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you
remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski
holiday up north about 9 months ago?"
"Yes, I do." said Bob
"Did you, ER, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go
up to the house and pay her a visit?"
"Well, um, yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being
found out, "I have to admit that I did."
"And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?"
Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, Buddy.
I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?"
"She just died and left me everything."
(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?...
> Now keep that smile for the rest of the day.)
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Death's Shadow
LPmember
I have become Death. The destroyer of worlds.
Posts: 3,184
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Post by Death's Shadow on May 26, 2008 21:57:02 GMT -5
LMAO
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Post by YOUR_DADDY on May 27, 2008 15:23:50 GMT -5
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Post by YOUR_DADDY on May 27, 2008 15:24:43 GMT -5
well that didn't work ,,, sry
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Post by Urumii-Previously ThePresident on May 27, 2008 15:39:43 GMT -5
LOL that was good!!
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Post by vinsanity on May 27, 2008 18:03:40 GMT -5
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Lamron
Benevolent Dictator
Posts: 5,225
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Post by Lamron on May 27, 2008 18:41:47 GMT -5
Ape hangers!  |
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;D 
